Today it has been exactly one month since our little Evelynn came home from the NICU. I spent the first two and a half weeks of her life distraught that my baby wasn’t home with us. I was so depressed that I couldn’t hold my baby and that she was having to be fed through a tube instead of against my chest. I felt like somehow my body had failed me. I knew better though. I knew that it was amazing, unseen forces that had caused Evelynn to be an active growing baby and somehow she had managed to twist that cord into a knot and around her neck twice. I knew that if I hadn’t been sick, we would have been planning a funeral instead of enjoying our beautiful little girl. But I don’t think everyone else who knows Evelynn realizes that.
For years I have been adamant about home-birthing. I sincerely believe that having a home birth or birthing in a Birth Center is a beautiful, safe process for both mom and baby, when their risks are low. Hospitals are places for the sick and healing, not for bringing in life. However, there are special circumstances that call for a baby to be brought into the world in a hospital. Our daughter, Evelynn, was one of those special cases. On Sunday, November 17th, I had some moderately painful contractions for several hours, but I was able to stop them on my own with hydration and position changes. I didn’t feel quite right for the next few days and on Wednesday I called my midwife, who made a home visit to check to see if I was dilating. I wasn’t, but she wanted to run some labs to make sure the contractions and still present pain weren’t anything else. The next day I went to a lab but had issues and wasn’t able to submit a sample. By that evening I was in so much pain I made a trip the ER. They said I had an infection, gave me a prescription and sent me home. I took antibiotics for almost 48 hours while my symptoms got worse and finally I had more complications and ended up in the ER again on Saturday. This was the same hospital I was in two days before, yet they weren’t able to do much for me while they waited for results from more tests. Since I was a bit more dilated than before, they admitted me to Labor and Delivery and gave me rounds of IV antibiotics and fluids. However, they refused to give me tylenol because they wanted to “keep an eye” on my fever (which reached 103 F during my stay) and several nurses decided this was the perfect time to talk to me about the dangers of having a midwife, how my infection could hurt the baby, etc. Continue reading